Cellulogy

There is no reason on God's good earth why this post should interest anyone, even me for that matter. But still it has to be written. In the 90s, when we had just got our independence a mere 43 years ago and we were a young nation discovering ourselves, (which is why we, as a nation, poo and pee in the open, where we stand, because we are infants), I had this requirement to go in for a cell phone. I had a pager at that time, as cellphones were unheard of. How it worked was, you needed to call the pager number and leave the message with the operator, and I will get it on my pager. So, my messages used to be,
"Uncle come, come now." (from home).
"Cycle accident Royapettah hospital" (from the office boy),
"sorry. leave sister pregnant" (employee).
... and so on. It had got to a point where the whole thing was counter productive. So, I decided to buy a cell phone. It was a mighty INR 12000 at that time, and we got a big black Motorola brick that was probably used to communicate with the Garuda platoon after whooping some enemy ass, in the frontlines.
But the worst part was the rates. Incoming calls were charged. I remember paying INR 12 per minute for, "Aaahaahaa. Solayappana koopudu ma.". But I stuck on. Several years down the line I have changed more cellphones than a water-rich baby has changed diapers, and so I thought it was time I made a list of the phones that I had owned. I may revisit this someday, when phones are implanted in the skull and have a snigger or two.




- I still have this brick. This has some 6 number memory or something, is ridiculously heavy, drains battery faster than a politician drains the country's wealth, but it has served me well. And continues to serve me today as well, as a spectacular paperweight.




















- My first touch-screen phone. I was so enamored by this beauty that I spent countless hours on it, hotwiring software, discovering new tricks. If I had been married then, my wife would have left me for sure.



- Twenty seconds into a call, this G50 would get so hot that the ear area would start throbbing. I have a faint suspicion that this phone emitted microwaves.



- My first and last tryst with the people of the CDMA world.



- The 9500 was one of the best phones I've had so far,. This phone is so big that, if placed strategically in your trouser pocket, can turn you into a celebrity among the ladies.















- This baby worked it's ass off for the missus, for quite some time.









- Currently on duty with the missus.









- A mind-bogglingly functional phone, which does about everything except scratch your back (rounded edges), so overpriced that it makes me want to hurl.

Most of these phones were used phones when I bought them. Some were obtained through tremendous feats of hoodwinkery and bamboozlement. If I had spent half the energy on my career affairs, I would be sipping pina colada, on a private beach in Bora bora, with a few trophy wives.