Numerolohgiey

There are a spate of programs on TV about people becoming rich, famous and marrying Beyonce after they added a few consonants to their names. In one such program, this guy with a high pitched voice, is going at it hook, line and sinker. He has added a few "h"s, "x"s and "z"s to his name as it is. He has an eye candy helper - by eye candy I mean for the target South Indian, viz. a sagging aunty with FAIR skin. What struck me as novel was, he had a live audience. He pulls up people from the crowd, and asks them for their name, date of birth and, check this out, "DOOR FACING?". He asks Door Facing, and they say north or east. Someone please tell me what door? The front door or the bathroom door? (They both shield tremendous flows of energy and matter).

Now the cool part. After getting the dope he does some calculations, and then starts telling things about the people sitting before him, that makes them cringe. "You are Kunjoos saar! Spend some money saaar." or "Ungalukku jaasthi sweat aaguthu" meaning "You sweat a lot". The dimwits take some consonants from him, promising to add them to their names and apparently pay him or endorse him, or both, to fellow numb skulls.

The caption keeps saying "Those who can't able to come... through couriers". What!! You think that's a mistake? You bonehead. That's part of the numerology, man. The vibrations will make youiouoo a betthher persaoaoun. For instance, if your name is Srikant Bhat, I suggest you replace the "a" in your first name to "u" and introduce a space after "Sri", and you can watch your life change. Everytime you tell someone your name, you can see a smile light up in their faces. Guarantee.