Bring it on

Does it rain for a reason? K said that it rained because Laura was sad, when she discovered that she was the Light of Zartha, and had to go back and make more Zarthans. And Big Will started making more albums to hide his sadness. But I am not too convinced by that story. The place I call home, I think it rains ONLY to make me miserable. The last couple of days had been ominous, there were some suggestive flashes of lightning in the evening sky when I ran out of printer paper. I usually keep a reserve supply, but this time I forgot that I had used a huge stack, printing pictures of my brother getting his PhD.

Buying stationery is a pretty simple affair. I have to hop, step and jump till the end of the street, and decide which stationery shop I want to go to. There used to be an old shop, Amar's Traders, manned by an old muslim guy, who would tell me stories of a budding Madras when he set up shop along the R.H.Road, where trams used to ply. I used to get a free quote from the Kuran every time I went there, which I used to carefully note down, and show off at opportune times to make myself appear learned and mighty. And also make pretty women say, "Look at that guy, he quotes from the Kuran but is a Brahmin. I want him to father my kids." But that didn't happen. Also the good man has closed shop. There's another "stationer", near the traffic junction, who had employed an entire family. Two twins, an elder brother and a sister. The three brothers look identical. A typical incident would be when a customer asks one brother for a pen, and while he goes in to get it, the identical twin walks into the shop from outside. The customer asks him, "Where's the pen?"
"What pen?"
"What do you mean what pen? The pen that you just went in to get."
"Oh you must have asked Kandan"
And Kandan would come up with the pen. And then the entire crew would laugh merrily. They used to get a kick out of such similar incidents for many years now. This used to be a novelty but got on my nerves really fast. Nevertheless, I have made this shop pretty much my default supplier of paper, cartridges, staples and stuff.

I paid heed to yesterday's lightning flashes and took an umbrella that my mom had kept on my bike. Just as I neared the shop it started to rain. And when I opened the umbrella, it started to rain inside. The cloth was like a fishing net. I must say, the natives of Mylapore and the people passing through got quite a nasty scare when they saw a huge jeans clad monstrosity in a red shirt run like mad clutching a cell phone to its chest. I bought the paper and some stuff that I had no use for, and decided to visit an old tailor on the first floor of the same building. I told him to stitch a few pajamas for me, and gave him some cloth that I had brought from home. He gave a booming resonating laugh and told me that it was shirt cloth. After being properly embarrassed, I asked him to stitch some shirts (of which I had no requirement) and noticed that the rain had stopped.

In essence, it had rained just because I had to go outside to buy paper, and it rained just enough to make the sidewalk a filthy quagmire. The weather didn't even get pleasant.

The walk back was soggy, with mud getting between my toes somehow. That was when I heard a rather novel curse. A bright pink Fiat Palio drove like crazy, almost on the sidewalk and sloshed an old lady with some major stagnant rainwater mush. The old lady screamed, "Dai Naashamapoga, Un amma un chithappa oda odi pova paaru." meaning, "Curse you, your mother will elope with your father's brother". I have made a mental note of that curse and plan to employ it on suitable occasions.

By the time I was back, my shoes were disturbingly coated with muck. Every time it rains, I have to go outside. I prefer sipping hot chocolate on my first floor balcony, watching the rain while a dozen slender beauties clad in sheer muslin pamper me and satisfy my every whim. All right... maybe I am expecting a lot, I guess I will have to settle for hot cocoa.